For me, a perfect future, or my ideal life, would give me enough resources and expertise to do three things. These are very general things, but brought together, really constitutes the Good Life for me: These three things are to travel, to write, and to teach.
These things are interrelated. The more I travel, the more I will have to write about, to pen down. And the more I elucidate my thoughts to the general public, the more I can form ideas and teachings to pass on to the younger generations. And to teach means to go places, to tread where one hasn’t trod before. To see new things, meet new people. But why are these three things important?
The answer is simple. We are growing up. Who do I mean? I mean, me, my friends, young men and women of my generation. We’re all entering new milestones in life, seeing the world spin around us so speedily. Some are great milestones, some of them are not so pleasant. For you grown-ups, it’s probably old news to you, but everything I write is happening to us younglings. Many people look around them and see only horrible things, and that’s not just pessimism. One student is on the verge of breakdown amidst his degree. We lost a treasured teacher last year. Others have already lost their parents – both of them. People’s humanity and compassion is hurting them. A girl feels that she has nowhere to turn to when things become too much. Frail body and unhappy mind. A collapse of many friendships, and unwitting burning of bridges. Misunderstandings and narrow mindedness cause isolation and hurt. It is all happening, and if one amplifies this through the friends of friends, how great is the suffering? All this is true and real, even if I don’t blog about it often. Today I was accused by someone of hurting him almost a year ago, not through insults, but through my blind eye to his dissatisfaction – and that was more troubling because right afterwards he professed a great confidence in my future as a great man. It is proof of what I have always feared – the darkness of oneself often obscures one’s sight to be able to pierce through the mist of ignorance and apathy in order tend to others in the way you have always trained yourself to do.
When I take refuge and become a Buddhist, I suspect it will be the most significant milestone in my life. I really have been blessed with a ‘middle way’ – I have been humiliated, saddened, angered, frustrated, failed, and deprived of things I want and love – but not to the extent of many other people, where the hurt becomes so great that eventually they must confess that despite how highly they hold you in regard, some of that regard slips because in one moment of foolishness you can barely remember, you turned a blind eye to the silent suffering of one person.
I swear by my prayer beads that this will never happen again, not as long as I have a strong hold on my own mind. My taking refuge is my highest offering and my commitment to a better life, to higher morals, to a greater purpose.
We’re only in our twenties – the world’s going so fast. I am nineteen – the youngest man of my generational circle. How do we frail younglings respond to the trials of existence? Many have simply burst out in anger, or let their distress flow freely. This is all our experience. With so much hurt in *all* our lives, we still have to deal with the big issues – the world out there, the looming ecological catastrophe, the greed and violence of nations, and so much more. There is much work to be done, both for ourselves and for others. It’s better to start early.
If I’m not mistaken, a couple of readers of this blog are grown-ups. I know for a fact almost all the regular readers are older than me, even those of my generation. But hey, things are changing. This time it’s for real. We’re all growing up…
