A while ago I wrote a post debunking pretty much everything racists have to say. Today I will touch on that again. I have been aware of Asian and American-Asian men’s woes in the United States, where a large chunk of Asian women go for Caucasian men, and not as many Caucasian women go for Asian men. For convenience, I will call these guys Bitter Asian Men. Essentially, their complaint is, “We’re decent, nice guys: but white women want nothing to do with Chinaman, and neither does Suzy Wong want anything to do with Chinaman.” Many of their problems also come from the fact that their Asian other-half left them for a Caucasian.
I see this sometimes in Hong Kong as well, although there is a much more diverse range of interracial dating in Brisbane, Australia as far as I have observed during my studies there. Many of these Asian men, I suspect, have internalized notions that Caucasian men are stealing our women. I don’t believe anything should get in the way of love. That said however, there are a lot of legitimate concerns put forward by these Bitter Asian Men.
I personally agree that the plight of this portion of American-Asian men is largely due to Western media stereotyping of Asian men as either oppressive misogynists, or creepy villains with sneaky and ulterior motives, or incompetent womanizers in a Western society, or asexual kung-fu freaks. Much of this began after WWII, during American contact with the Japanese and also the immigrant age when there was a large diaspora of different peoples, especially Asians, into the U.S. In the modern age, media bias, especially from Hollyweird, is a lot more powerful than most people think, and it can influence even Asian men and women to see in themselves a profound inferiority to the Caucasian race. And about the primarily American fantasy of an “easy, submissive, exotically sexual dynamite” Asian woman: trust me, my Yankee friends – our side of the fence is not much greener. Your belief in that stereotype says a lot more about you than it does about Asian women.
A lesser reason may be an Asian immigrant’s status compared to that of the stereotypical “rich white boy”. I don’t think this is as important, since there has always been a large group of hardworking, rich Asian men moving mountains in the West, and this number will only continue to grow. So the main problem, I believe, is Americans’ warped perception of Asian men as either genderless and psychotic martial artists or as small-dicked pussies with an inferiority complex to Almighty White Culture (in other interesting news, there was a recent study that showed Japanese men have a slightly longer erect penis than American men. As usual Negro men have the best… well, endowments, so to speak… yet enforcing some pretty retarded and sometimes negative stereotypes about black men). A complaint often thrown around is that Caucasian men enjoy “good” stereotypes, such as being rich, or better at lovemaking, while Asian men get unenviable stereotyping like being sneaky or cunning or socially inept. Asian women may internalize these opinions subconsciously.
Frankly, this is not always the case in different places. I am 100% ethnically Chinese: most of my Asian friends have Asian girlfriends, some have Caucasian other-halves. But it’s more of a balance in Brisbane. I’m sure the situation is a lot worse in America, the land of the stereotypes… I mean, the land of the free.
In the meantime, for those Bitter Asian Men in America and in some other parts of the world, live well. It is the best revenge that you can take on the superficial, and probably self-ignorant Asian women who left you for a Caucasian man: they will get a nasty shock when they realize that stereotypes don’t mean squat. I often see and hear of Asian women as unhappy, if not unhappier, in relationships with Caucasian men. Relationships are relationships, sex is sex. It’s either great or it isn’t. Asian women who think otherwise often find their hopes crashed, and dare I say it, sometimes people of all races deserve it for mindlessly buying into the falsehood that is stereotyping.
Still for the Bitter Asian Men reading this: if an Asian woman leaves you just for the reasons already stated, then she doesn’t deserve you. Remember just because a woman is from the Asian race doesn’t mean she has an immediate advantage over other members of the female gender. Biology determines gender. Culture, surroundings and self-discovery determines the individual.
And who knows, things may change. Such problems are an extremely recent phenomenon, almost like a fad or trend. And all trends/fads last less than a generation. The sages have always been right: people’s opinions and desires are as impermanent as the flowing of the river: one moment it’s before you; the next it’s rushing away past. One day we might get dealt a better hand in the bizarre world that is Western media. Take heart, fellow Asian-American brothers.



Hi there Raymond,
Fellow Asian male here – mid 20s down in Melbourne. Interesting post. I will be creating a series of posts with an in depth perspective of the whole Asian Girl/White Guy match with mostly personal experiences.
Feel free to write me an email.
Regards,
Will.
That’s odd…I happen to me in love with a chinese guy (not a so called “half breed”) and I’m afraid he’ll give ME the same line that the other asian guys I have expressed in:
“I’m only attracted to asian women.”
Which is completley valid, although I don’t think it’s the truth. I think my only real concern is that he doesn’t think that I’ll like him because he is chinese…based on what I’m reading that is the most likely case.
How very sad.
So how, in your opinion, shoud I as a white woman approach this? This super sucks. I don’t want to be the “tupical” white person basing the final decision about my relationships based on race. It’s petty and ignorant and I ran away from mississippi a long time ago!
:)
Take heart guys! I have faith that I’m not the only one to believe in you all!
-B
Yo,
it’s actually been a long time since I wrote this post and from my knowledge, over the past year, things have gone slightly better for Asian men in the West – not by much though. If you know me well, however, I don’t put all the blame on the phenomenon of ’self-hating’ Asians in a Westernized society – it is easily possible that some Asian men simply are boring when it comes to work and play.
But most Asian guys have dedication and a heart of romance most ladies dream about. In fact, I’d say that if you don’t confess, you risk losing a lot. And if the Chinese gentleman of your affections rejects you simply because of race, who is the one more obsessed about race – you, or him?
And if it’s him, is a man preoccupied with his own race, do you believe you’ll get anywhere with him?
I am a caucasion woman residing in the United States, and until I accidentally ran across this blog, I had no idea that Asian men face such difficulties in dating. When I met my boyfriend, I didn’t even think about the fact that he is Vietnamese. I liked him and that was all that mattered. Is it really that big of a deal?
To my knowledge, it is in the States. In Australia, Brisbane at least, the ratios are a bit more… balanced. However, I’m just passing knowledge on since I don’t live in America. It is undoubtedly true that in the States that Asian men face difficulties in dating outside of their own race. I would attribute it to the prevalent racist attitudes still running undercurrents in Western society, as well as the admittedly deplorable way Asian men are depicted in the media.
But don’t be too discouraged, honestly – this post of mine was written ages ago, for all I know things may have improved slightly in the States. This post might even be a bit outdated.
I don’t think this is a trend or fad that’ll simply go away. Asian women have always been seen as exotic and sexy and always going for the white man in movies ever since the 40s and 50s. And has gotten significantly worst as time goes on. And to answer your statement about it maybe getting better here since you wrote this, it hasn’t improved one bit. If anything, it is worst than it was before.
Howdy,
I’m an Asian, predominantly Filipino woman. I am currently dating a Caucasian, but mainly for one reason: he’s a lot like my dad and I’m not a halfy.
I’ve always been pretty equal opportunity when it comes to the guys I date and across the board, I’ve dated every color of the rainbow except Asian guys. There we not many in my area, but also – Asian guys don’t go for me. One thing I find discouraging about dating Asian guys is the onslaught of racism from their parents over me being a Filipino, it’s happened to a lot of my friends. I’ve never understood the basis for that attitude but if you couple all my circumstances together – the odds of me being able to date an Asian guy would be pretty low.
ps christine, i’m chinese, and i love filipino girls! i was raised catholic (i dont know how or why i’m chinese and catholic, but i am, and it is pretty important to me)
i’m equal opportunity when it comes to girls too, i’ve also dated all the colors of the rainbow, but obviously… haven’t met the right one yet.
[...] gets a little more personal in blogs, such as posts titled Us Bitter, Bitter Asian Men or Sucks to be an Asian [...]
Raymond,
Chicago is riddled with white guys and asian girls walking down the street hand in hand arrogantly exposing their membership into a secret society of vomit-inducing relationships which are spreading like a plague.
I’m also Chinese, and American. I don’t think it is accurate to say white girls dont want to have anything to do with us- in fact, they love us. White girls love asian guys. They are sick of white guys driving big trucks shooting rabbits and beating on them with a combined IQ of 20. They appreciate our intelligence, and compassion.
Hey guys, you people need to get laid, like me…I get laid constantly
I am a 33 year old Asian female in Canada. I moved here when I was about 9 years old. I have reservations about dating and marrying second generation Asian men. I suspect that secretly they desire Caucasian women more than Asian women even if they don’t admit it. Why? Because ever since birth these Canadian/American-born Asian men have been bombarded with the Caucasian beauty standard and media images of Caucasian women. Caucasian women images have been eroticized for him constantly, meanwhile the only images he has had of Asian women were his mother and sister. So, how is he supposed to feel an erotic attraction for me, when on the unconscious level, it was never hardwired into him through his development phase of childhood and early adulthood. I have directly heard many second generation Korean boys at my church say that Asian girls remind them of their sisters. I heard them say this a lot when I was in my teens. After that, I wrote off these banana boys permanently and never looked in their direction again as dating potential or marriage material. This does not apply to FOB (1st generation) Korean males because they grew up under entirely different conditions where Korean women are eroticized for them through the Korean media back in Korea. So, my point is that I think you 2nd generation boys prefer white women deep down over Asian girls but you are afraid to admit it. And you only want us because you can’t get white women.